The Degenerates vs NotThem!
by Vixylafoen
Summary: Five idiots fight four other idiots
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Break In & Break Out

Ike and his squad consisting of King Dedede, Mr. Game & Watch, & Ganondorf, went to the Northgate Mall in Colerain, Ohio. There, they went to Hot Topic, but found out that it was closed down due to a monetary problem. Ike exclaimed "This is bullshit! They can't close Hot Topic! What is this world coming to!?" Game & Watch replied "Beep boop borp." Ganon told Ike "He's right, Ike. The world is simply moving on a new path. We must accept that relics of the past will eventually fade away." Ike, after regaining his composure and stopping his wailing, accepted that his favorite store, for him to look at Adventure Time and Metallica album cover art, was gone. Dedede, being an fucking idiot, smashed open the closed down gate and told everyone to get inside quick, before mall security arrived. Everyone went inside and discovered that the Hot Topic was being renovated to a Sears discount lot.

Ike was pissed. Ike exclaimed "This is completely bullshit now! They're making the bomb ass gucci as fuck store into a fucking little shithole for cheap assholes and homeless people, not to mention idiot moms with cheap ass wallet sizes." Game & Watch then loudly said "NIGGERS!" Ike told Game & Watch to calm down, but the mall security, being comprised of Kirby, Ness, and Fortnite Default Guy: the chief of the mall police, had arrived. Dedede, again, being an fucking retarded nutsack, threw a gordo at the police. Out of nowhere, Shaggy Rogers came in and deflected the gordo back at Dedede, impaling it on his face. Dedede doesn't die though, as Dedede is immune to death as he is a stupid algorithm who doesn't abide by the laws of physics or reality. Taking the bloodied up gordo off his face, Dedede shouted "How dare you attack a king, you lanky scrooge!?" Shaggy replied "Like, you're just on edge, man. You need to chill out and accept that you're gonna lose this fight, man." Shaggy then rushed at Dedede, singling him out., but then…..

Captain Falcon came in and said "HEY! You can't do that my friends! You're just a bully, Norville Rogers!" Shaggy, having realized himself, left the battle, leaving Kirby, Ness, and Default Guy to defeat the ones they've dubbed as The Degenerates. Ike, knowing not what to do, began to N-air constantly. Ness threw a PK Fire, but it had no effect on the mildly upset crybaby. Kirby tried to do a kicking attack, but he was launched by Ike's sword. Default Guy simply gave up and called for backup, but the group, lead by Ike, had already escaped the mall. The gang got into Game & Watch's 1979 Ford Pinto, and drove off. "Thanks for that help back there Falcon. We couldn't have gotten out without you." "No problem Ganon." said Captain Falcon. "Hey Captain, look close to that window." said Ike. Falcon leaned close to the window, and Dedede opened the car door and pushed him out of it, leaving CF on the pavement of the mall parking lot. "GAD DAMMAT! I'LL GET YOU KIDS!" shouted Falcon.

Everyone drove away laughing their asses off. They then felt a big bump under their car. They looked out and saw Lucina, who they had just run over. She has holding her sword and an unopened Sunny-D. Ganon took the Sunny-D and left Lucina's corpse on the pavement. "Good steal Ganon." said Ike. "Beep Nigger Boop" said G&W. "Good idea G&W. We'll call ourselves the Degenerates after what those mall guards called us." The gang laughed together as they drove back to their meeting place of the McDonald's Playplace, all while the cops were tailing their car. They eventually lost the cops through an elementary school that they drove through. They gang made it back to McDonald's without a trace of the police on them.

(And so their journey begins where the group will face great perils, like Kirby absorbing Lucina's corpse, and Ness crying so much he brings back Giygas. What will await our somewhat heroes? Find out in the next exciting chapter.)

-Chapter 1, END.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - The Meeting

At the local McDonald's Wolf O'Donnell was ordering himself a black coffee and a hash brown for breakfast, but then the Degenerates crashed through the window, killing Wolf. "SHIT! WE KILLED OUR MENTOR!" shouted Ike. "It's no big deal. We can simply go along without him." Ganon told Ike. Viridi, the manager of the McDonald's, told the Degenerates "Jesus fucking christ! You just killed that man and the 4 families that were around him!" "So what?" said Dedede. "They don't matter to us." "Borp beep beep brap boop" replied G&W. Viridi decided not to call the police as she had already seen this incident happen at her old job at Wendy's, and she simply didn't care anymore.

The Degenerates went into the playplace and began to discuss what they would do with their new status as criminals in Cincinnati. Ganon and Dedede came up with an idea involving going to the nearby colleges of Xavier University and UC and conducting a panty raid on the female dorms. Ike thought it was a stupid idea, but he accepted the proposal as he began to get a wicked boner while he thought of his lover, Natsuki, being naked at Xavier which she goes to.

Ike told his crew "We're going to UC first, fags! We gotta get pumped up for Xavier by going to the lesser college first." "Beep boop boop niggers" "Shut up, G&W." said Ike. "Hey can I join you guys?" said Viridi. "BEGONE, THOT" exclaimed Dedede as he threw a gordo at her, killing her. The Degenerates then got back in their car and drove off to UC, while Captain Falcon walked by the McDonald's and saw the Degenerates driving away. He threw a tracking device on their car. "I got you now, fuckers."

(What awaits our totally not heroes anymore group as they drive off to UC? Find out in the next chapter (You won't. The next chapter is filler and setup.))

-Chapter 2, END


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - The Ones Vitalized

At the mall, Kirby and Ness scout the parking lot for clues that could lead them to the Degenerates. They then come across Lucina's corpse. Ness informs Default Guy of their finding, but Kirby simply eats the body like the fat fuck he his. Kirby then copies Lucina, gaining the ability to take a giant metal toothpick out of nowhere. Ness yells "That was our evidence, you fat fucking pink moron!" "Fuck off, gay boy." replied Kirby. Ness, being a pussy, ran all the way home while crying for his whore of a mom. Jonny 2x4 came by the mall and saw Kirby swinging the sword around. "Gee Plank, that pink guy sure is wild." Kirby heard Jonny and stabbed the sword through his skull, killing him instantly. "POY-FUCKING-O, BOY!" yelled Kirby at Jonny's corpse. Kirby walked away not knowing that Plank saw everything and he wanted revenge.

About an hour later, Kirby got bored of killing random people who he assumed to be insulting him, so he decided to get rid of his power. Instead of getting rid of his power, though, he created a partner, with it being Lucina. Lucina had come back to life. "Holy fucking jesus shit! That was frightening!" exclaimed Lucina. "You should look at your waist." said Kirby. Lucina looked down and she had a huge cock complete with a pair of equally as huge testicles. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME YOU FAT PINK FUCK!?" "I thought you would look hot with that." said Kirby. "You are right, I do feel pretty horny. It's like I want to fuck everything in sight. Except you, cause you're pink and pink is a gay color." "Dammit." replied Kirby.

Default Guy arrived on the scene and Lucina began to rape him immediately, but Default Guy didn't mind as he hadn't had sex ever since his ex-fiancè Zoey left him for Default PUBG Guy. "Ohhh~~ this feels sooooo nice. Fuck me…. *moan*" said Lucina. After 10 hours of rigorous sex with pretty much everyone in the mall, Lucina was ordered by Default Guy to clean up all the cum she had left all over the mall. "Who did this to me?" asked Lucina to Default Guy. "The Degenerates did this to you. I was just a part of their chain reaction of events." replied Kirby to Lucina. "Who are the Degenerates?" "A group consisting of Ike, Dedede, Ganon, and Mr. G&W." "Damn those fools. I vow to never let them get away with this alive! I'll track them down and mutilate all of them!" exclaimed Lucina. "We're all going to. But first, you have to clean up your sperm." said Default Guy. "Alright sir, but what should we call our group?" replied Lucina. "I have a group of friends that can help us…." said Default Guy. Kirby began to dial up his buddies Diddy Kong, Bayonetta, and Cloud, while Default Guy called up Paul Blart, Fat Bastard, and Homer Simpson.

When everyone's friends arrived, Kirby's friends immediately killed everyone except for Kirby, Default guy, Lucina, and Homer. Cloud then told Kirby "We have no need for these fools or you guys anymore. We simply needed you to get us together and give us our mission." "You dicks!" shouted Kirby. Bayo then put bullets in Default Guy and Kirby's head. "Doh!" shouted Homer who then received a bullet in his head, as well. Bayo then told Lucina "You're our sex slave now, bitch. Do as we say, or you get it next. Don't worry. If you're a good enough slave, we'll let you get revenge on the Degenerates." "Fine." replied Lucina. "What should we call our team?" asked Cloud. "Niggers That Intimidate." said Diddy. "NTI will be our initials. If that falls through, we call ourselves NotThem! with an exclamation point to represent the I in our initials." "What kind of stupid fucking names are those?" asked Bayo. "You got any better ideas, hair whore?" "I guess not… NotThem! it is then." said Bayo to Diddy and Cloud. The new group formed, with Lucina in tow began to search around the city in hopes of finding the Degenerates. Not knowing anything, Plank began to follow NotThem!.

(What shall happen to our asshole friends as NotThem! are now after them? Find out soon in the next chapters)

-Chapter 3, END


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Morning Wood

Deep in Colerain, at the Rumpke dump, NotThem! was chilling out and began to wake up after sleeping there overnight in their MLP sleeping bags. "Dammit, we haven't found them, and we've been searching all night." said Cloud. "Plus, I've been fucking our slave all through the morning." "Calm down now, Cloud. We can find them later. For now, we have to deal with the general pubic trying to kill us for vandalizing their city, and us confessing that we orchestrated Harambe's killing" said Bayo. "Hoo-hah niggers, i'm awake, and I have a huge morning wood cock." "SHUT THE FUCK UP DIDDY!" both Bayo and Cloud replied. The three of them now noticed that Diddy's cock was very rectangular. Diddy uncovered himself and saw Plank on his dick. Plank had a gun taped to his back. "What the hell is this?" shouted Diddy. "Did you get drunk again and make that while blacked out?" asked Cloud. "I don't fucking know!" exclaimed Diddy.

Plank stared at them all with his cold, lifeless eyes. The group decided to ignore him. Plank's rage began to grow. The group told each other what they should do with Lucina at this point. "Hey! I'm still a human being! You three aren't even truly human! One of you is even a fucking chimpanzee!" "Silence, Thot." replied Diddy to Lucina "We know what to do with you now." Bayo breaks out her BDSM kit and Cloud gets out his ball stretcher. They both get Lucina ready for Diddy's cock. Diddy thrusts his tiny chimp dick into Lucina's giant urethra. Lucina moans with pleasure, proving that she's just a huge slut. After about 2 hours of sex, Lucina finally came buckets after having held it in for so long. "Damn, that's a lot of cum!" shouted Cloud. "With this amount, we could shape it and let it harden into our costumes." "What's our costumes?" asked Bayo. "Literally just KKK robes made of cum." said Cloud. "Bloody moron."

A gunshot was heard after Cloud began to shape his costume. A bullet wound was found in Lucina's head. "Well, there goes our sex slave." Bayo said. The group looked around and saw Plank standing upright with the gun that was originally taped to his back now next to his body with a smoking barrel. "The fuck's up with this wood?" asked Diddy. "The gun probably just fell off its back and landed in a way that it fired" responded Cloud. The group agreed to leave the dump, and they left Lucina's corpse and Plank behind (they took the gun though). Plank, having failed his attempt at murdering the group, grew furious and swore to himself to avenge Jonny's death once and for all.

(Plank failed and Lucina died again. What will happen next with our antagonists? Will we ever focus back on the Degenerates? Find out soon in the coming chapter.)

-Chapter 4, END


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Q&A Special

Hey readers! I'm going to interview the characters and see how they feel about the project so far.

PROMPT: How do you feel about your role in the story so far?

Ike: I fucking love it

Dedede: It's okay, I guess. The story should've been just about me though.

Ganon: Well I do enjoy my status as the team coordinator, but I *nearly chokes to death*

Mr. Game & Watch: Beep Blarp Brap Boop Blop Nigger

Bayonetta: I feel like I'm finally getting some appreciation from people

Diddy: Fuck them nigs, they don't know shit 'bout me yet

Lucina: *still dead*

Capt. Falcon: I hate this. I need to be a cool guy, not some loser who chases some punks

Cloud: I say, it truly is interesting the route we are taking, but I enjoy the ride so far

Okay and now I, the author, will provide a response to the prompt.

PROMPT: What do you hope to see in future chapters?

Ike: I want to be the true main character, you cunt

Response: You ARE the true main character, you cunt.

Dedede: I want to be more than a joke secondary character

Response: And your point is? You're all joke secondary characters.

Ganon: I would prefer seeing some more of our own unique attacks when we do battle

Response: That'll come in due time.

Mr. Game & Watch: Beep Beep Boop Boop Niggers Niggers Borp

Response: Yes, yes, yes. That will happen, Watch.

Bayonetta: I want to see us triumph over the punks we're trying to find

Response: Eventually… you might.

Diddy: I hope to see everyone get fucked by my cock.

Response: Shut up, Diddy.

Lucina: *still dead*

Response: Nice answer Lucina

Capt. Falcon: Can I stop getting dicked on?

Response: At some point, yes.

Cloud: Can I have a gun instead of this huge ass sword?

Response: No, faggot. No one likes people who main you.

Well that's it for now, but I'll have a couple of these sprinkled throughout the story to give me time to think of the next chapters. So bye everyone!

-Chapter 5, END


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - A Rude Introduction

The Degenerates were on their way to the UC campus, when Ike saw, from the corner of his eye, someone in their house playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate online as Diddy Kong. Ike, being pissed that anyone would dare portray such a vile action, began to rush into the small child's home and n-air all over the place, leaving it in ruin. "Why did you destroy my house, my switch, and take a crap on my Diddy Kong Amiibo!?" "Such disgusting actions can never be forgiven." responded Ike. Ike then jumped back into the Pinto, and drove off, leaving the child in tears. Ike even stole the kid's golden Mario Amiibo for good measure.

NotThem! was driving in the direction of the UC campus when they spotted the Degenerates in their shit car. "THERE THEY FUCKING ARE!" shouted Diddy. "Good, now we can humiliate and kill them." "Hold up Bayo, they've got Ganon and G&W. Ganon can fuck us up, and G&W can legally say the n-word." said Cloud. NotThem! immediately drove after the Degenerates, but they drove in such a way that they the Degenerates wouldn't notice them, or so they thought.

At the last light before entering the UC campus, the Degenerates drove into an alleyway. NotThem! decided to follow them into the alley on foot. When they got to the Degenerates' car, they found just a fresh shart stain, and a couple of napkins in the driver seat. Without warning, Diddy was attack from behind by a tennis ball. NotThem! looked back, and it was Plank. "The fuck is wrong with this board? It keeps following us." said Diddy as walked up to Plank. Plank stared Diddy straight dead in the eyes, and Diddy, being the pretentious fuck he is, snapped Plank in two "killing" him. From Plank's eye came a small crayon tear. He knew he had failed to avenge his friend.

Suddenly, Bayo and Cloud were hit by two quick jabs in the back of their necks. Diddy rejoined them and they looked back. They saw G&W. "Beep barp boop beep beep nigger." said G&W. Ike then asked NotThem!, as he emerged from the shadows of the alley, "Why the fuck were you following us?" "We want you dead." responded Cloud. "Well fuck that! We ain't dying today! Come on boys, we got us some fuckers to dick on!" All the members of the Degenerates burst from the shadows. Ganon and Cloud went 1-on-1, clashing swords together, while Bayo tried to fend off both Dedede, and G&W. Diddy was stuck with Ike.

Ike and Diddy fought like babies. Diddy threw banana peels, and Ike simply n-air'd in place. "You gonna come near me, monkey fuck?" "Not while you're doing that bullshit move" replied Diddy. Bayo deflected Dedede's gordos and punch G&W constantly against a wall. Ganon eventually decided to go sicko mode on Cloud, and he did his up tilt move, pulling Cloud into his flaming boot. "I have you now, punk." Cloud, however, got his limit online and cross-slashed Ganon into the Pinto, trashing it. "Dammit!" exclaimed Ganon. When the fight was beginning to heat up into everyone putting all their might into the fight, PAC-MAN emerged from the trash can in the alley. "Wakka wakka wak." said PAC-MAN. Cloud, already being pissed that the plan was ging worse than expected, immediatley killed PAC-MAN and his ghost buddies, except for Blinky, who ran and hid in the garbage can. Ike finally had enough of the bullshit and performed a Great Aether on NotThem!, pulling everyone both Cloud and Diddy into it. "Shit… I'm outta here!" shouted Bayo as she ran away.

Ike slammed his sword, Diddy, and Cloud into the ground. Diddy and Cloud both ran away like pussies. "Serves them right." said Ike. "We aren't far from our goal now." said Ganon. "Yeah, but our car!" shouted Dedede. "Boop brap beep borp." exclaimed G&W. "He's right, we can't just sit here and complain about this shit. We gotta keep moving! Let's go guys!" shouted Ike, motivationally. The group ditched their car and went onto the street and crossed into the UC campus.

(Now that out bullshit heroes are at their destination, will they fuck up their mission. Probably.)

Chapter 6 - END


	7. Chapter 7

TDvNT! Chapter 7 - The Spooky One

After the intense battle in the alleyway, Blinky emerged from his hiding place inside the trash can. "Damn those people. They got my best bud and rival killed, along with my other ghost buddies. Well, if it's war they want, it's war they'll get." And so, Blinky went off to join the Degenerates in hopes of avenging his fallen friends. Meanwhile, the Degenerates were heading into the UC campus. Their first target was swift hall, where there's a smash tournament held every saturday.

The Degenerates broke into the hall, using G&W's magic key, and went into the room where the tourney is held, and proceeded to shit all over every inch of every desk, as they were too lazy and too spiteful to us the restrooms. The next destination were the female dorm halls. Ike took the top floor, G&W had the first floor, Ganon did floor 2, and Dedede took floor 3. They went through each room on each floor, and using Ike's patented spooky raping technique, fucked every girl in the dorm hall. Ike even got to smash Mii Gunner, who was still awake, with her consent. What a filthy slut!

Jimmy Neutron then entered the dorm hall and found a bucket load of cum on each wall of each room. He was flustered that he came to see his girlfriend Samus, only to find her soaked with cum, and a calling card from Ganondorf. The Degenerates went off to the apartments, while NotThem! watched from a distance. "Wow! Those guys have some serious sex drive! I wonder if I could get myself hooked up with the blue haired one…." said Bayonetta. "Shut your whore mouth, Bayo. We have to kill them. It's our mission. If you want, you can fuck their corpses." said Cloud.

Without them knowing, Blinky snuck up to the group and proceeded to say "Boo, mothafukkas." Stoked with fear, NotThem! jumped over the cliff and probably broke a few clavicle bones. Blinky then floated after the Degenerates quickly. "Damn that ghost. I knew we should have killed him." said Diddy. "Shut up Diddy. We hate you. This all your fault. You were our lookout."

Blinky caught up with the Degenerates. "Sup, bitches." "Whomstd've the fuck be you?" asked Dedede. "My name is Bling Double GG Key, mothafukkas, but y'all homies can call myself Blinky." replied Blinky. "I wanna join y'all bitches and fuck up them niggas whomst killed my fucking homies. Ya hear?" "Sure." said Ike. "Just stop being black." "Fuck that shit B. Imma be my own self from now on. That PAC-MAN motherfuck was just holding me back, but I still wanna avenge him cause he was my homie." "Ya sure, Whatever. Just shut up." said Ganon. "Beep barp bloop bip." "Well said G&W." said Ganon.

(What will our good friends, and new friend encounter at the apartments? Will they find more girls to rape, or another battle to fight?)

-Chapter 7 END


End file.
